Call it Fate
by Bea-the-Bee
Summary: When Dave meets Karkat at one a.m. in the middle of a dead end little town, neither one thinks anything of it. But when life keeps pushing their paths to cross, what will they do? ***** Slow editting, slow positing (for the most part) All rights to characters belongs to Andrew Hussie ((READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!))
1. Informational Chapter

**_Information Chapter:_**

There's probably going to be a lot of confusion over the family situations coming up pretty soon so I wanted to warn you guys here and also fill you in on them. There will also be information on the relationships and friendships here. Feel free to skip it now, but if you're ever confused later on, just pop back in and see if your question can be answered. If it can't, leave me a comment and I'll gladly answer it for you.

Egberts/Harleys/Crockers/Englishs: Jade and John are twins; their mom died just a few short months after they were born, leaving Dad to take care of them. Jane is their older sister and Jake is their cousin, though he lives nearby. The family has two grandparents alive. A grandmother on their mom's side and a grandfather on their Dad's side.

Striders/Lalondes: Bro and Mom Lalonde are known as Davis and Rita in this universe, and are married. Davis is the older brother of Dirk and Dave (Dirk's older than Dave.) Rita is the older sister of Roxy and Rose (again, Roxy is older than Rose). It's only mentioned a few times what happened to their parents because none of them like to talk about it. They're all step siblings, but treat each other as if they've been together for life. No grandparents and that's pretty much all to say on their family.

The Midnight Crew: The midnight crew adopted Karkat, Sollux, Aradia and Tavros and raised them as siblings, so they're hella tight. Since the Midnight crew is essentially a gang, they all grew up around violence. Sollux and Aradia try to avoid it as much as possible since it brings back bad memories for both of them. Karkat and Tavros are less effected by scenes of violence, but also prefer to shy away from it if possible.

Snowball: She adopted Vriska as her daughter around the same time as the Midnight Crew adopted their children, just to prove a point that she could raise a child better than they could. After Vriska paralyzed Tavros and got her arm blown off, and her eye blown out, she became a bit of a reclusive and only ever went to events she knew Terezi was going to.

Gamze has never gone on a killing spree, though he has on a couple of occasions harmed others when off of his prescribed weed.

Gamzee and Nepeta are in a relationship, because crack ships, am I right?

Nepeta and Equius are cousins and have always been as close as brother and sister.

Nepeta's family moved into a house close to The Midnight Crew's home base, so she also got to grow up with Karkat, Aradia, Sollux and Tavros. She and Equius were practically extended family.

Kanaya and Rose are obviously together, I could never split those two babies up. Though they are the exact same age as pretty much everyone else, they behave like moms almost. Constantly doting, wanting to know what's going on in their friends' lives. But they're always careful not to overstep their boundaries.

Karkat, Aradia, Sollux and Tavros are all known by their peers as "the Midnight Crew kids" since it's easier than saying all of their names.

Kankri, Latula, Mituna and Rufioh are distant relatives the Midnight Crew kids and will probably be mentioned every now and then as their cousins, though nobody really knows their relation.

Frigglish is a veterinarian who has taken Roxy under his wing to teach her the ins and outs of running your own business.

The Striders and Lalondes all used to live in the city but moved to a smaller town to get away from all of the "hussle and bussle" as Rita calls it. Dirk, Dave, Roxy and Rose moved along as well because some good colleges were in the area and they needed to make sure Davis and Rita didn't end up popping out another sibling.

Jake is like the kooky uncle to everyone here and please do not expect me to write too much into his character (I don't know why, but I just don't like him a whole lot. . . I think he feels just a little too dumb. . . maybe that's just me though.)

And that should pretty much cover it. The rest will hopefully be written about in the story so I hope you were educated! You may continue!


	2. One AM Cake

**_Chapter One:  
_** **Karkat's POV:**

Karkat sighed as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. His deep brown eyes were half lidded and glossy with sleep deprivation. His body slumped against the marble counter in front of him, seemingly ready to collapse.

He normally didn't mind his late night shifts at the local grocery store; not many people came in and those who did were usually blissfully silent and did not tempt his anger. However, after (finally) completing his final week of college before his thankfully long winter break, he was exhausted. The work near the end had been grueling.

"This is ridiculous; who's ever heard of someone coming to a bakery at one o'clock in the morning?" he grumbled out tiredly. "I just wanna sleep." He crossed his arms on the counter and placed his chin on them. He wasn't talking to anyone since he usually covered for the lazy asses who didn't care enough to come in. He couldn't blame them; if it weren't for the fact that he needed to eat that week and couldn't risk getting caught off duty, he would be right along with them.

His eyes began to drift more and more closed by the second, and he delighted in the thought of perhaps finally getting enough sleep to actually get him through the day. He was very nearly there, just in that slightly uncomfortable and irritating area where you're partially aware that you're falling asleep and at the same time just want to get there.

But then fate had to come strolling in with a pair of sunglasses.

The store had an odd set up: by the front door were produce and most of the checkouts, plus the return center where a specific stoner usually sat, playing his music way too loud for comfort. A little farther in and there were a bunch of freezers along the walls with milk, butter, cheese, eggs, etc. lining the shelves. Then, at the very far back were a few glass walls and a door which led to the bakery/cafe sort of place. The place was a common corner store that helped out the community as best it could by having cheap prices and fairly good quality food.

Karkat liked working at the bakery part of the store because of the people that worked alongside him and the customers.

Excusing a few of the assholes that would come in for their daily muffins and pastries and such, the people that came in were fairly nice and polite to Karkat. They would say thanks and tip generously before going along on their way. At night there was hardly anybody coming in.

Karkat's coworkers consisted of Jane, the owner's daughter, Nepeta, who'd gotten the job just to be closer to Karkat, Terezi and Sollux who didn't give enough of a fuck to show up half of the time and then there was John, Jane's younger brother. He was a nice kid, a year or two younger than the others. He'd gotten the job like Jane had, using a family connection and mostly just hung around, eating whatever was available _except_ for cake. God knows why he hates it, the shit's fucking delicious, but I guess that's just another reason why he's a weirdo.

"Yo." a smooth voice spoke. Karkat winced at the crack in the silence, but remained otherwise still. "Hey." it said again. A low growling noise escaped Karkat's throat, still not moving. "You sleepin' on the job, or what, 'cause I have to get a cake ASAP and I don't have time to be makin' it on my own." the voice prodded, revealing a Southern accent that was foreign and rare to find in the middle of Washington, especially during the winter.

Karkat lifted his head up to glare furiously at the Texan man who had robbed him of his sleep. He was met with platinum blonde hair, incredibly pale skin and a pair of sun glasses. The man's face was slender and chiseled. Karkat couldn't say much for the guy's body since most of it was covered in a thick winter coat and the rest was just skinny jeans.

"Ah, so he lives." Shades said sarcastically. "Now, about that cake."

Karkat grumbled angrily and stood up straight. "What do you want, asshat?" He asked rather loudly. A single blonde eyebrow was arched over the avatars.

"Asshat? Is that any way to treat a customer?" He lifted a single scolding finger. "Should I tell a manager on you, mister?" Suddenly he was talking to Karkat like he was a toddler who'd spilled his juice on someone's head.

Karkat gave him a strange look, but snarled soon afterwards. "Just choose a cake and tell me what the hell you want on It." he snapped, impatient. The guy on the other side of the counter withdrew his hand and put it in his pocket. He turned his attention to the large book with the different cake flavors, sizes, the kinds of frosting you could get, and more. There were some birthday cakes in there with those little candy action figure things as well as some of that edible printer picture stuff on them that featured everything from Transformers to The Princess Frog. Karkat took a deep breath and turned around to start gathering some frosting. The cakes were already pre-made, stored in a large industrial sized freezer. All you really needed was the frosting and decorations.

"Gimme a marble cake with vanilla frostin' on it and blue around the edges. I'll tell you what to put on it when that's done." Shades said flatly.

"Okay, just take a seat and wait." Karkat commanded, slipping on his jacket that was hung by the freezer. He always left it there since it made it a lot easier not to freeze your ass off while you searched for the right cake. It was just a normal freezer with normal temperatures, but it was huge. He grumbled unintelligibly to himself as he started searching for the chocolate and vanilla marble cakes. He heard some footsteps out by the counter and commons area and knew that Shades must've taken a seat like he'd been told to.

 **Dave's POV:**

There were some soft grumbles and angry cuss words being mumbled the entire time Dave sat there. He chuckled to himself. _Geez, this guy is so pissy._ He thought to himself. _Is this really the guy John had wanted me to meet?_ Dave thought back to earlier that week when John had gone on and on and on about this "Karkat" dude. Again.

"He keeps on wanting me to eat cake, but I just don't want to. One time, he actually tackled me and tried to force the cake into my mouth! He's insane, I swear!" John said as Dave nodded and made a noise of agreement, trying to concentrate on his video game. "And he's angry literally all the time. I don't think I've seen him smile once."

"How's he not been fired by now if that's the case?" Dave asked, grunting angrily as he lost yet another game. _Stupid computers. It's not even fair, they know all of the moves while we've got to figure them all out for ourselves._ He grumbled to himself as he shut off the console, deciding to actually talk to John for a while.

"Well, he's kind of the only one who actually works. Terezi and Sollux aren't there too often and since Jane is still in college she only works in the afternoons. Nepeta shows up whenever, hoping when she shows up that Karkat'll be working there, even though she doesn't bother to ask for his work schedule. And Karkat works nights and pretty much any other time that doesn't interfere with his classes. But, I think he's graduating this year." John went on. Dave furrowed his brows in confusion.

"So this guy's like, the angriest dude you know, right?" he asked. John nodded. "And the only reason he hasn't been fired is because he works hard." Dave recapped. John nodded again. "I'm kind of having a hard time believing that. I mean, if he's super rude to the customer's, wouldn't he just be fired? Can't they find somebody better?"

John shrugged.

"Alright, I've got to see this dude for myself."

And that landed him in the position he was now. He watched from a distance as Karkat stumbled out of the freezer, shivering. He set the cake on the counter and stripped himself of his jacket, hanging it back up on its hook by the metal door. He dug around through a large bin in the corner of the kitchen until he pulled out a few tubes of icing. "Alright, what do you want on it?" he barked after smoothing a large amount of frosting over the top of the cake. Dave allowed himself a small smirk as he stood back up and walked over to the counter.

"Hmm, let's see. . ." he rubbed his chin as though in thought. He kept the act up for as long as he could, pretending to think about it while actually scanning the snooty boy behind the counter. His arms were crossed across his chest as he tapped his foot impatiently. Large black bags sagged underneath his mahogany brown eyes that, despite relaying anger, twinkled with curiosity. His lips were curled up into a scowl that added a touch of severity to his appearance, but only a little. His hair was an unkempt mess that seemed to defy the laws of gravity, sticking up every which way and getting in his face. Dave tried to keep his thoughts straight, but he could not resist the gay thoughts because, _Oh shit, he's hot._

Dave cursed John in the back of his mind for not mentioning that Karkat was _attractive,_ this was so unfair. _Dammit, dammit,_ dammit _! Why'd he have to go and be cute, goddamn, this is so not cool, oh shit, was I staring? What if he noticed? No, he couldn't have, your shades dipshit. Oh god, he's saying something._

Dave's internal panic was luckily paused in its tracks by a gruff voice clearing its throat. Dave's head snapped up to him. "So are you going to ask for something on it, or am I just going to be sending you packing with a blank cake?" He asked, sarcasm permanent in his voice. _I wonder if that's how he always sounds or if he's actually sarcastic all of the time._ Dave found himself pondering.

Dave remained silent, causing Karkat to raise an eyebrow at him. "Hello? You alive in there? I asked you if you actually want something on the fucking cake." He waved a hand in front of Dave's shades, emphasizing that he was tired of waiting.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just put, "To the Derp-iest Nic Cage Fan in the World" in dark blue frostin'." Dave said, hoping he didn't lose too much of his cool there. Karkat snorted a bit of laughter as he grabbed the white tube of frosting.

"" The Derp-iest Nic Cage Fan?" If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were talking about one of my coworker's younger brother, John. Man that kid has a problem." Karkat chuckled, shaking his head as he skillfully scrawled the words out onto the cake, smiling to himself as he did so. "He hates cake though, so it must be for someone else." He mumbled to himself. Dave smirked.

"No, it's for him." Karkat looked up at him, surprised. "John's like, my best bro. This is his birthday cake."

"Uh, but isn't his birthday in April?" Karkat asked, finishing up with the letterings. He placed a seal of sorts onto the frosting tubes and tossed them back into the plastic bucket behind him. (Dirty, dirty minds, get your brains out of the gutter, not like that!) Dave smirked and shook his head. "Course it is. But it's like this running joke that we have. I get him a cake five months before his birthday and another one five months after; he does the same for me." He answered. It wasn't a complete lie; it used to be a thing that they did. But that had been years ago. They'd long since stopped doing it after realizing that cakes cost a lot of money, money they needed to buy other things like internet or actual, healthy food.

Karkat gave him a strange look, like he was thinking hard. "Hold on a goddamn minute, you're him, aren't you? You're that fucking Strider guy that John blabs about all the time. You're him, aren't you?" Karkat asked while not really asking. His voice was accusing, like he knew that the answer was yes already.

 **Karkat's POV:**

 _Goddammit. John could've at least mentioned that he was hot._ Karkat thought to himself as he narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him.

Dave smirked again and said, "Ah, so the little dweeb talks about me? I feel so honored." He held his hand out to Karkat. "Dave Strider, at your service."

Karkat cautiously took his hand and shook it.

"Karkat Vantas." Was his reply.

"I know."

Karkat blinked. He felt an uncomfortable rush of cool air hit his hand where Dave had been holding it once they let go. His hands had been cold to begin with; freezers weren't exactly a tropical paradise and due to it being cold outside the owners kept the thermostat down more than the workers would prefer, but it was only to save some money. Dave's hand had been warm though, skin nice and smooth. He brushed off that weird though quickly though and turned around to go digging in the back for one of those case things they used to put over the cake so it wouldn't get ruined or anything.

"And just how the hell would you know that?" he asked over his shoulder, rummaging around and making quite a bit of noise.

"I'm not the only one John talks about." Dave mused. "The kid could go on and on about you and he has already." He didn't know why, but knowing that this stranger already knew a few things about him through a certain high schooler sort of freaked him out.

Karkat stood up straight after finding the right sized case and put the cake in. "Alright, that'll be $12.58." Karkat spoke, dropping the topic before it got out of hand. He just wanted this Strider guy out of his hair and out of his life.

Dave paid and grabbed the cake, ready to walk out before he turned around. "It was really nice meeting you, Karkat." He said smoothly before disappearing out of the store faster than humanly possible, leaving a puzzled and intrigued Karkat behind.


	3. Persuasion Tactics and Tears

**_Chapter Two:  
_** **Karkat's POV**

"Kaaaarkaaaaaat!" Jade and John both whined in unity, latching themselves onto the short boy's arms. "You _have_ to come to the New Year's party!" Jade pouted.

"Yeah!" her twin agreed just before getting flung to the floor.

"No I do fucking _not!_ I have better things to be doing tonight than standing around in a room full of sweaty, drunk teenagers showing massive PDA. Like working. Or sleeping." He growled at them, crossing his arms defiantly.

"You don't have to work tonight! It's a holiday! Besides, you're not _supposed_ to be sleeping on New Year's Eve." John stood up and dusted off his jeans before yanking Jade to her feet.

"Oh, really?" Karkat asked, his more sarcastic tone seeping into every word he spoke. "And just what _are_ you supposed to be doing on New Year's Eve? Please, do educate me on the proper way to spend December 31st."

"Well, you're supposed to enter the new year surrounded by family and friends!" John answered literally.

"There are so many, _many_ things wrong with that. One of them being I don't know anybody there!" Karkat shouted at them. They stared at him, unfazed by his temper. After spending so much time with him at their dad's crappy little corner store, Karkat's little outbursts no longer startled the overzealous siblings. "Yeah you will!" Jade protested childishly.

The word "childish" could pretty much sum up their entire family.

"You'll know me and John! And Jane's gonna be there! And Sollux, and Terezi and Kanaya and pretty much all of your friends!" She seemed to be getting excited just talking about it.

"The answer's still _no!_ " Karkat shouted before heading for the door of the coffee shop he had once been peacefully enjoying himself in. He didn't always enjoy coffee, but unfortunately, the need of caffeine in his sleepless body was far too great to simply ignore. He'd just been sitting there, drinking his expresso and waiting for the caffeine to kick-start his brain . . . And then in walked the terrible twins and the whole day felt wrecked. It almost seemed like the start of a horror movie the way they crept up behind him only to pounce and beg for him to accept their invitation.

His abandoned expresso and blueberry muffin still sat at his table, but he found that he didn't care enough to grab them and take them with. He instead decided to leave, get to his apartment complex as soon as humanly possible and lock himself in his room for the next week.

He didn't like going out for the holidays; it always felt too crowded or like he was in the way or that he wasn't there at all. And he'd already made the terrible mistake once this year to go to a party with his friends on Christmas. The night basically ended with Eridan and Sollux sloppily making out, Nepeta being carried home by Equius since she blacked out from drinking too much, and everyone else playing a very drunk game of Go Fish until they got bored and left.

"Hey Karkat!" John called after him just before he got to the door. Karkat looked over his shoulder at the high-schooler. "Dave's gonna be there." He said. His face crooked into an awkward, half smirk, half grin that was the closest thing to a smug expression Karkat had ever seen the dweeb pull off.

It took him a second to remember just who the hell Dave was – their last encounter had taken place around two weeks prior – but when he did he still felt his face crinkle into confusion. "Okay, why the fuck would that change my mind?" he asked. John just shrugged, breaking out of the smirk/smile to just grin. He stretched his mouth wide enough that his two big front teeth were visible. Even after two years with braces, they still stuck out over his bottom lip when he grinned in a certain way.

"Just thought you might want to know." He said simply. Jade giggled and seemed to understand what John was implying. Karkat shot them both a strange look before flipping them off and walking out the door.

 _Stupid, goddamn twins. . ._ He thought to himself as he headed in the direction of his apartment.

"Fuck." Karkat sighed with relief as he sank into the warm embrace of the overly squishy couch he and his roommate shared. They'd gotten it for a great deal since the people selling it said it smelled like weed. Even better for them though; Gamzee was a well-known druggie. But then again, he kind of _had_ to be. Either way, he could somehow always get kicked out and/or banned from numerous hotels or apartment complexes in a matter of weeks, at most, so he would usually end up being soothed to sleep on that couch.

Countless nights had been spent with Karkat falling asleep to the sound of the stoner's snores out in the living room. You would think with so many things irritating him that the snoring would surely be one of them, but you'd be wrong; Karkat found it comforting, knowing that the stoner wasn't going to just get up and leave in the middle of the night and do God knows what like he so feared. And besides, nobody could make scrambled eggs like Gamzee, so it was all good.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you home so soon!" Nepeta's voice quietly chirped from down the hall. Karkat sat up and looked at her. She was doing that weird reach around thing to put in one of her long, dangly feather earrings. She looked nice, all dressed up for something. Green eyeshadow caked her eyelids and a fresh coat of her favorite green lip stick had been smeared onto her lips. A tight black tank top clung to her torso and a purposefully torn pair of skinny jeans wrapped her legs. She was certainly a sight to see; quite the contrary could be said for Karkat's baggy sweaters and oversized jeans that barely stayed on him.

"Neither was I. But I apparently made the brilliant decision that "Hey! Y'know what? I actually want to stay home, where I've been for the past week instead of going out and enjoying the wonderful company of people!"" he quipped, his voice practically dripping with sarcasm. He tried to refrain from swearing as much as possible when home. Being a big ball of rage 24/7 could actually be quite taxing on one's energy.

Nepeta chuckled. "Well, that's what you normally do." She finished putting in her earring and walked over to the couch, leaning on the back of it. "Ah, and here I was, hoping you'd actually get to meet new people and let me have the place to myself for once." She crossed her arms on it and placed her chin on them. A smug smile was glued to her lips.

"Don't you mean " _fur_ " once?" Karkat teased.

"Oh, come on Vantas!" she stood up straight again. "You know I haven't made a cat pun in _years_ , let it go already!" she giggled.

"Nope. I'm going to make you pay for forcing me to listen to each and every one of them for seven years _straight._ "

"You're such an ass." She shook her head, her light and fluffy black hair bouncing from side to side.

"Damn straight, bitch." Karkat laid back down on the couch and crossed his arms behind his head, a self-righteous look plastered to his face.

This was normal banter for the two; they'd started out as best friends ever since they'd met in high school. Becoming roommates just seemed like the natural thing to do for them.

"Hm. Well. You'd better get ready quick." Nepeta smiled down at him. "Roxy asked me to come play for a party they're throwing tonight and I just couldn't refuse." Nepeta squealed, bouncing from foot to foot.

"Who's they?"

"Oh, you know. Dirk, Roxy, Rose, Dave, the Egberts too, I think. Those guys."

There it was again. That name. _Dave._

"Oookaay . . .?" Karkat glanced up at the overly excited girl standing over him. "And how does you hooking a gig for once correlate to me going with you?"

"Oh, c'mon Karkat! You know you're the best singer in all of the Milky Way!" Nepeta leaned her elbows onto the back of the couch again, putting her chin in her hands. She always used flattery on Karkat; when they were younger it usually worked, up until the point where Karkat realized she was manipulating him. "And I already told everyone that you were coming along! Pleeeease?!" She whined, her eyes getting wider and her lip quivering into a pout. She batted her mascara covered eyelashes a couple of times, just for effect.

"Stick that lip out a bit farther and a big blue bird might just come along and poop on it." Karkat grumbled, adjusting his arms so that one of them laid across his chest and the other covered his eyes.

"Ugh. You're impossible." She groaned, giving up the act.

"Nope. Pretty sure the name's Karkat." He peeked up at her from under his arm. "How long have we been friends?"

Nepeta groaned again and Karkat just chuckled. He was the ultimate master of dad jokes. Meaning every single one of his puns ended up with him laughing and everybody else telling him to shut up. "But for real, you have to come." She told him.

"Nope."

"This isn't up for debate."

"Nuh-uh."

"You're going."

"Not happening."

"It's final."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

" _No._ "

"You're coming along, Vantas."

"N."

"I'll force you."

"O."

"Karkat!"

"Nepeta!"

"Why are you so against this?" Nepeta leaned far over the back of the couch, her hair curling just around her jaw as she glared down at her roommate. She clenched her teeth when she talked and tightened her jaw. Even if she was dressed up like a model in a high end fashion magazine, she looked like she could bitch-slap the life out of somebody, right then and there.

"Why are you so for it?" He asked loudly, finally taking his arm off of his head. His eyes to meet Nepeta's steely gaze.

"I asked you first." She practically growled at him.

"And I asked you second, glad we got that out of the way."

"Augh!" Nepeta exclaimed, tangling her fingers through her previously perfectly brushed hair. She sighed and slumped her back against the couch, sliding to the ground with her knees up to her chest. She was far beyond the end of her rope. Karkat tended to have that effect on her.

Guilt rose from his toes to rest firmly on the center of his chest when he heard her uneven breathing. He sat up and slung his legs over the side of the couch to rest his still Converse clad feet onto the floor. Nepeta was usually the type to cry when overly frustrated or stressed and Karkat was typically the type to _cause_ frustration and stress; how the two had managed to remain roommates for so long still puzzled the rest of their friends, but to each other it was no mystery.

Forgive and Forget was the lifeblood of their friendship.

"Is this about -" Nepeta started in a much softer and calmer voice.

"I'm going to stop you there before you finish." Karkat cut her off. He sighed, covering his eyes. "No. It's not that." He mumbled out.

Nepeta chuckled, trying to make the situation a little less dire. "Could've fooled me."

A long pause stretched out into the apartment, leaving the pair to just sit with their backs to each other.

"I'm worried about you, Karkitty." Nepeta murmured into the fabric of her favorite, neon green jacket that she only wore for special occasions. Karkat's head rose from his hands. She only very rarely used her old nickname for him. "You never leave the apartment for anything other than work and school. You've hardly been eating anything; and don't try to lie to me, I've noticed the protein shake bottles." Karkat's eyes widened. _How could she have. . ._ he began to wonder to himself. He usually hid them in the trash pretty well.

His thoughts were cut off as Nepeta continued to talk. "Everyone else is worried about you, too. Kanaya hasn't seen you in weeks and Sollux doesn't even know if you're alive anymore." Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence.

All of what she was saying was sadly true. Karkat _hadn't_ been eating a whole lot; the protein shakes and bars made up for that, though. Just enough nutrients to make sure his muscles didn't collapse or that his brain didn't completely go cu-put, but not enough to help him keep up a balanced weight. And leaving the house was almost entirely out of the question. He just didn't have enough energy to go around. Go to school, get to work, hang out with friends, eat enough, sleep enough, monitor his mental and physical health, make sure he wasn't stressing out too much, keep in touch with his family, and balance it all without collapsing? Not always the easiest feat.

"Aradia looked it up." Nepeta continued. Karkat shuffled so that he was sitting on his knees, leaning over the back of the couch to look down at the now pitiful ball of color that he called a roommate. "She found this website that said you were -"

"I'm not depressed." Karkat interrupted her again. She looked up at him, a little bit of her mascara and eyeliner running down cheeks. Nepeta had cheekbones that made plastic surgeons weep at not being able to create something so beautiful and natural. He reached down and rubbed a little bit off with his thumb. "I've just been really stressed lately." He rubbed the makeup into the skin of his fingers and crossed his arms. "I'll go with you to the party."

"Really?" she asked, instantly cheering up a bit. Her facial features lit up. Her hazel eyes brightened as a smile slowly slid across her tiny lips. He thought about it sometimes, how it was such a shame that he was queer; if he were otherwise, he'd probably be dating Nepeta. She was a really nice, incredibly beautiful, talented, funny, interesting person that he knew well. In fact, even if he was just bisexual, he'd probably still end up with her. She'd had the biggest, silliest crush on him for years until he finally confronted her and said that he was gay.

"Yep. But if I found out that you were manipulating me this entire time, that's it. I'm done. I'll get a taxi, I'll hitch a ride, I'll _walk_ home if I have to, but I won't let you drive me home."

Nepeta sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, smudging makeup all along her eyelids, making her look like a raccoon. She stood up as she did so and turned to face him. "Oh, Karkitty, I could never do that to you." She grinned and held out her arms for a hug. He gladly met her in the middle.

"We care a lot about you, Karkat." She whispered to him.

"Yeah, I know. I care about you guys, too." He whispered back to her.

Nepeta pulled away slightly, still holding him in place gently by the shoulders. "But do you care about yourself?" She inquired, still in a hushed voice.

Karkat remained silent.

 _Way to make a guy think, Nep._


	4. Woo That Girl

**Dave's POV:**

It took Dave little to no time to hoist Roxy up the stairs and into the main living room.

He laid her out on the couch, making sure her head rested squarely on a cushion, tilting her jaw just slightly to the side so that if she barfed in her sleep (like she was sometimes known to do – despite being an alcoholic, she could not hold her drink) she wouldn't choke on in.

He brushed a bit of her hair out of her face before quickly rushing over to where Jane stood near the front door, awaiting new guests.

"Jane." Dave said, breaking his normally calm tone. Immediately Jane noticed the difference, launching herself straight to her feet from her previous position of leaning against the wall.

"Is it – Did Roxy . . .?" Jane trailed off.

Dave nodded gravely.

Jane was out of the hallway and into the kitchen before Dave could hardly even blink. When he peeked through the doorway, he found Jane leaning over a slip of paper, scribbling something on it in Sharpie.

"What's that for?" he asked her when she put a piece of tape on the top and rushed to stand on the front step, sticking it to the door.

"So that I don't have to keep letting guests in. It's not as polite as I would have liked, but it'll have to do." She said hurriedly, her words tripping over each other as she rushed back inside the house.

Before she closed the door, Dave got a good look at what the note said; _"Let yourself in! Through the kitchen, into the hallway, first door on the left; in the basement"_

Dave snickered despite himself; only Jane would leave direct instructions on where to go to get to the basement. He was pretty sure the thumping base was enough to alert any guests as to where the party was going on.

Mercifully, nobody had decided to hang out in the living room yet, so neither of them had to shoo anybody out of their way. Either that or the sight of Dave carrying a rather intoxicated, possibly drugged, girl into the area scared them all away.

Jane knelt beside Roxy and sighed, taking her best friend's hand in hers and squeezing it slightly. Dave sat down next to her, cross-legged and stroked Roxy's hair. He waited for Jane to say something, cry, slap Roxy to wake her up and scream at her or react in _some_ _way_ , but they were left shrouded in silence.

Well, as much silence as there could be when there were about two hundred guests (how did the Egberts even know so many people?) all partying and dancing and swaying together downstairs to a rather interesting song.

An undisclosed amount of time passed in which neither of them spoke at all. Dave felt the atmosphere surrounding them get awkward, but was unsure as to how to fix this problem.

Fortunately, he didn't have to.

"Isn't she so beautiful when she sleeps?" Jane whispered, rubbing her thumb over Roxy's knuckle.

Dave kept silent, feeling like this was the sort of question that didn't require an answer.

"I've always thought so. Especially when we were kids." Jane's voice started to get far away, like she was floating away. She paused for a moment. "Do you remember when she had all of that long, long hair?" Jane glanced up at Dave, a sad smile playing on her lips. Dave nodded silently, still trying to figure out if it was appropriate to speak or if Jane was still being rhetorical.

She turned her head back to face Roxy's. "We would video chat for hours and hours on end. . . Most of the time going late into the night. She'd fall asleep on me and just lay there while I stayed awake." Jane's eyes started to tear up a tiny bit, her voice wavering in that awful, painful way when you're trying to speak around the lump in your throat, trying not to cry. "I would always think to myself that she looked a bit like-like Sleeping Beauty, right?"

Jane started to fully cry now, hiccupping a little bit and squeezing the life out of Roxy's hand. Her body lurched up and down with every shaky breath. Her lips were moving fast and it took Dave an almost embarrassingly long time to realize she was whispering things.

"Why'd she do it?"

"We were so close to a new year, a new start. We were so close to restarting everything."

"Godammit, Roxy, why?"

"Janey. . ." A groggily tired voice suddenly spoke. They both looked at the still intoxicated Lalonde to see her two pretty blue eyes peeping open.

Both she and Rose had blue eyes, but while Rose's were deep and darkly resembled a more indigo color, Roxy's were so bright they were nearly transparent. As a teenager, she'd often wear contacts that turned them an unnatural shade of pink, but she soon dropped the habit after entering college. Dave preferred her to share her natural eye color with the world; they were even more beautiful that way.

"Roxy. . .?" Jane responded, the tears ceasing almost immediately.

"Janey, you can't be falling for me." Roxy's words came out slow and smoothly, her voice seeming to drop a few octaves.

"What?" Jane rose an eyebrow. Dave was right along with her on that boat.

"You're. . . Doncha remember? Ya' gotta get with Dirk-ister so. . . so we can all be one _huge_ 'effen family and you . . ." Roxy kept pausing and then talking slow. "You can have tons of r'lly cuuuute bbieeeeees."

Jane's face reddened to a point where Dave wondered if his vision had suddenly gone awry.

"Whoa, whoa, wait." Dave held up his hands, interrupting Roxy mid-rant about how she'd make the best aunt in the entire world and take them out shopping in Paris once her career as a model took off and such bullshit. "Do you actually like Dirk?"

Dave raised his eyebrows far above his shades when Jane tried (and failed) to stutter an excuse as to why Roxy was talking about she and Dirk getting married.

"Godammit, why's it always him?" Dave asked himself, once again disregarding a female's nervous ranting. Twice in the matter of forty seconds. Must've broken some new record. "I mean, first Jake, then Roxy, then I think John might've had a thing for him, for a while at least, and now _Jane_?! Man. I have _got_ to step my game up."

"Oo got dat right, Daveh-boy." Roxy giggled beside him. He lightly tapped her forehead.

"Shut it. I'm already mad at you for. . . this." He gestured his hand to the rest of her, indicating the situation they were in. She squished her cheek into the pillow under her head and widened her eyes, her bottom lip quivering out just a tiny little bit. Dave sighed angrily.

"Don't even try that fake puppy dog face and crocodile tears. You ain't poutin' your way out of this one, missy." Dave said, his Southern accent slipping into his voice more and more. It always happened like that in certain situations, like when he was feeling really tired or casual, or in this case, getting madder.

Roxy snapped out of the pitiful face almost immediately, completely dropping the act to glare up at her step brother.

Well, "glare" is an exaggeration; she more squinted really hard at him with the look of a toddler who'd lost an argument on her face.

Jane glanced from Dave to Roxy a couple of times before finally piping up.

"Dave, I uh. . . I think I'll handle this." She said a little calmer than what her voice had been just a few minutes ago.

Dave looked up at her, marginally surprised. "Huh?"

"Yeah, I'll take care of Roxy for right now. You can go and enjoy the party, don't worry." Jane suddenly decided out of nowhere, sounding rather resolute.

Dave glanced from Jane to Roxy to Jane again. "Is there gonna be some sort of secret female bonding conversation when I leave?" he asked them.

"Of sorts." Jane tilted her head to the side.

More silence.

Dave swore if it weren't the middle of the winter, they'd all hear some crickets chirping outside.

"Whelp, shit man." Dave's hands went up into the air again. "I can't go around interruptin' some fine lady bonding. It ain't polite." He hoisted himself up and stuck his hands in his pockets, already striding towards the door. "You two have fun." He said before walking down the hallway and disappearing into the basement again.

He hated how hastily he'd left, but Jane telling him to go "enjoy the party" had reminded him once more of his original mission; finding Jade and stopping her before she could tell the entire household that he had a developing crush on literally the only angry short Bakery Boy in the entire city.

 **Jane's POV:**

Jane was surprised at how easily Dave had retreated, to say the least, but at the moment, that was the least of her problems.

Roxy had started giggling beside her, trying – and failing miserably – to hold back her little chuckles behind her cupped hands. "Shut up!" Jane nearly screeched, slapping Roxy's arm with the back of her hand. "I can't believe you just did that!" She glared accusingly at the still giggly blonde.

"What? Who cares? I for one think yo're little crish on Dirky's the cutest thing since kittens." Roxy said. She seemed to be sobering up well, but still slurred a few of her words and it wasn't as if the alcohol had completely left her body; which meant the hangover of the century would still be hitting her hard the next morning.

"But he could tell him! And not to mention, _Dirk_ is dating _Jake!_ Did that completely slip your mind?!"

"Ooh, yeaaah. . ." Roxy said like she'd just realized it. Jane face palmed.

"Don't worry about it. This is Dave we're talking about; I'm sure he won't tell anyone!" Roxy tried to reassure her friend. Jane face palmed again with the other hand, fully covering her beet red face. "I thiiink. . .? I mean, it's Dave. His cool-kid façade can be pretty hard to predict sometimes. . ."

"Not helping." Jane said, her voice muffled by her hands. She lowered her head and pulled her knees up to her chest as best she could with the little space she was given to sit in between the coffee table and couch.

"I know what _will_ help though." Roxy grinned deviously.

Jane peeked up at the Cheshire-Cat grin she could pull off so well. "Whaat." She groaned, not in the mood for Roxy's insane drunk shenanigans.

"Wow, don't sound so excited." The blonde mumbled sarcastically.

"Roxy, just tell me what it is before I leave you hear so that I may wallow in my own shameful self-pity."

"Hee hee." Roxy giggled again. "Well, I'll just tell ya quickly then; our lil' Davey's got a crush!"


	5. Silent Stares and Hot Strangers

**Karkat's POV:**

When Karkat and Nepeta arrived at the large, mansion-like house, they were greeted by Jane and her cousin, Jake. "Nepeta, Karkat, good to see you two!" Jane grinned and stepped forward to give them each an awkward one arm hug since she was cradling a large bowl of batter in the crook of her other arm.

"C'mon, Roxy's been waiting for you." Jake waved them in and told them where to put their jackets.

At first, Karkat expected to see only the Egberts and this mysterious "Roxy" that had invited them, based on the fact that they were still technically early, but when they got into the massive living room it turned out they were a tad bit tardier than originally planned.

There, lounging on the massive pieces of furniture sat a multitude of familiar faces and those of strangers. "Neppy!" one of the platinum blondes leapt to her feet and launched herself at the girl standing next Karkat, nearly giving him a heart-attack.

"Roxy!" Nepeta squealed back, holding out her free arm for a hug; her other arm still pinned her keyboard between her palm and her hip.

Karkat remembered vaguely being introduced to this girl but it must have been either been a very long time ago or when he was drunk because he barely recognized her. " _Soo_ glad you could make it." She pulled away from Nepeta, flashing a Cheshire cat grin.

"I'm glad, too." Nepeta beamed back with just as much excitement.

"C'mon, I'll show you where you can set up your cool deely-bobs." The overzealous blonde lurched in the direction of another hallway, motioning her friend to follow.

"For the last time, it's just a keyboard!" Nepeta giggled. Karkat started to trail behind when his roommate turned around and held up a hand for him to stay. She glanced at the other guests who were just staring at them, apparently enjoying the show. Her hand was moved to the side of her mouth to block what she was mouthing out to him.

" _Make some friends._ "

And just like that, she was gone.

Karkat turned to face the group of strange people. He recognized John, of course, and Jade. But other than that, he was kind of lost. There were three blondes left sitting there, all seeming pretty bored with him again, if they were ever interested before.

The first one that Karkat noticed was a fairly pretty girl who sat next to John. Her petite body was shrouded in a loosely fitting purple halter strap top and a two-sizes-too-big pair of grey shorts over some calf-length leggings. Her hair was cut into a stylish bob that framed her jawline perfectly, but that was pretty much all Karkat could see of her face before she buried her nose in the large black leather-bound book that hid pretty much her entire face.

One of the others was sitting next to her, his arms relaxing on the back of the couch.

His outfit wasn't much to write home about; a simple T-shirt and torn up jeans hung loosely around his very obviously muscular body. A pair of leather, fingerless gloves clung to his knuckles and a pair of pointy, anime-esque sunglasses resting squarely on his nose. His hair was slathered back from his face and up to a point in the back of his head. There were so many hair products used to do this anti-gravitational tick that Karkat could practically smell it from where he was standing a good eleven feet away. He must have noticed Karkat's stare situate on him because he lifted one of his hands to give a half-hearted little wave. Karkat awkwardly waved back.

Just as he was about to study the last blonde in the room he felt a great weight hit him squarely in the back with an enthusiastic "Karkles!"

Karkat would have recognized that familiar squeaky voice anywhere. "Terezi, what the fuck?!" he shouted, instinctively slinging his arms back to catch her legs on his hips. They'd done this whole charade many times over and by now he was used to her launching her entire weight onto his back, despite having outgrown him by an inch or two. Still, he almost toppled over onto the coffee table; he honestly wasn't expecting it.

He laughed at her, his voice losing all poison immediately. He carefully set her down and turned around for an answer.

"John, you are _such_ a liar! I thought you said he wasn't coming!" she placed her hands on her hips, completely ignoring her middle school friend.

"But he told me he wasn't." John raised his hands innocently as Terezi strutted forward. She was known to be outstandingly strict when it came to punishing liars.

"Is this true, Karkles?" she turned her head over her shoulder to "look" at him with her glassy blue eyes.

"Yeah. I denied his oh-so-generous invitation earlier, but Nepeta's the one who talked me into coming." Karkat crossed his arms over his chest and left a tiny fraction of a smile on his lips as he watched his childhood friend.

When he shut everyone out, he shut _everyone_ out, Terezi included. He still saw her occasionally; the few times she actually showed up to work and once or twice when they ran into each other on the street, but otherwise not a word had been spoken.

"Remind me to give her an extra-large 'Thank you' tonight. Dragging you out of that little burrow of an apartment must have been hell for her." She sauntered back up to Karkat and hugged him, receiving a tight squeeze in return. "I'm glad you're here though. It's good to. . ." she paused momentarily. "Aw, damn, being blind can really be difficult when trying to figure out correct terminology." She pulled away and giggled. "It's good to. . . smell you, I guess?" she wrinkled up her nose and laughed.

"Nah, that sounds weird." She decided. Karkat chuckled and shook his head, sending stray hairs flying into his face, but shit if he gave a fuck. It'd been a good seven months since he'd last allowed Kanaya to carefully trim his hair and by now it was all over the place. He'd quickly picked up the art of seeing through his bangs without being too bothered by them though so it was pretty easy for him to see his friend's goofy smiling face still.

"Hey, Terezi, is that the same shirt you were wearing when you got here?" Jade asked innocently. Terezi turned around to face the Egbert who sat snuggly between John and the arm rest of the couch.

"Nope!" she said proudly. "I hope you don't mind, I left my other one in the coat room. It felt too. . . Un-me." Terezi put simply.

Karkat rolled his eyes; half of the shirts Kanaya had forced her to buy felt "Un-her" yet she refused to get rid of them for some strange reason. He wondered silently which one it was that she changed out of while quickly evaluating her outfit. Her top was covered by a black shirt with teal sleeves that came down to just about her elbows. A bronze colored, knee-length layered skirt sat on her hips and her favorite pair of red converse flats lit up the outfit like a match.

In other words, she actually managed to pick out corresponding colors for once in her obliviously blind life.

"Ah, Terezi, glad to know you finally stopped hogging the bathroom." Jake's voice suddenly rang out from the hallway Karkat and Nepeta had entered from. Karkat startled from his relaxed position, bristling to the point of his shoulders hitching up an inch.

He _hated_ being surprised.

Not only because of his natural reactions to them (which was to either freeze up, jump six feet into the air with a squeal or immediately smack the shit out of whatever had scared him) but also because it reminded him of. . . a certain bad experience he forced himself to repress years and years and years ago.

Karkat forced himself to calm down and to _not_ drag that back up into his day to day thoughts.

"Well, it's not like you don't have a bazillion others throughout the house." Terezi rolled her eyes, a truly uncanny event to watch considering her pupils were almost indistinguishable from her iris, and placed her hands on her hips.

"Right, but it would have been nice of you to at least not stay in there for thirty minutes." Jake argued back. "There _are_ other people here after all." He switched from his more serious voice to a joking and smiling one in a matter of seconds before he turned to Karkat

"Karkat, Jane said she'd like you to help her out in the kitchen. Something about coffee cakes, I think?" he sounded unsure of himself.

Karkat raised an eyebrow and was about to protest that he knew nothing about baking, despite working for a bakery, but Jake was already moving to sit by Spikey-Anime-shades guy, snuggling up rather closely while the blonde wrapped an arm around the Brit.

They were already starting to do that ridiculous coupley thing where they cuddled extra close and did nauseating things like kiss each other's cheeks or whisper little things in each other's ears. Karkat rolled his eyes and decided that he'd rather take his chances in the kitchen than out here. Just as he was turning to go though, he got a glimpse at the face of the last blonde who sat separate from the rest on a huge armchair. The boy's face had been turned in the brunette's direction for who knows how long.

Dark round shades.

Sleek, sturdy jawline.

Slender body.

 _Dave Strider._

 **Dave's POV:**

He was here.

He was here, he was here, he was _actually. Here_. Holy shit.

Bakery Boy was standing in his best friend's living room for a party they would be attending together for the _entire. Night._

Why that sent Dave's heart racing and made him struggle to keep his face from heating up was beyond him, though he had a sneaking suspicion. . .

He did a quick once over of Karkat from behind his shades and quickly noticed his muscular, fit body.

 _Shit, does he work out?_

That had to be it, because what other explanation could account for his biceps, his tightly toned abdomen, not to mention the abs that were clearly visible through his incredibly tight shirt. Just, wow. Karkat looked _good._

Dave pondered silently while Karkat scanned the room why he ever wore those oversized and heavy clothes all the time if he looked _this good._ It didn't make any sense to him; if you've got it, flaunt it.

Dave's heart nearly leapt into his throat when Karkat glanced at him before disappearing down the hallway to the kitchen. He bit the inside of his cheek, desperate to keep his cool intact.

"What's wrong, Dave?" Terezi asked innocently. She must have noticed his silence, somehow and was staring at him with those huge, creepily glassy eyes.

"N-nothing." Shit.

He stuttered.

Just behind Terezi, Dave watched Jade's eyes widen. _Shit, shit, shit._

A smirk slowly curled onto her lips and her eyelids fell to half-mast.

 _Shit, shit, SHIT._

She glanced in the direction of the hallway quickly before returning to meet his gaze.

Jade winked at him.

 _Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit, fuck, NO!_


	6. Snuck Snacks and Drunken Attacks

**_Roxy's POV_**

Roxy was smiling gently at the back of her dear friend's head. It was really, _really_ nice to see Nepeta again. No matter how much time they spent together, it never felt like enough. They'd only first met their first year of college together when they were eighteen; not nearly as much time as Nepeta had spent in her other friendships, but both parties agreed it felt like so much longer than three simple years.

"Okay, that should be it." Nepeta stood up and put her hands on her hips, grinning proudly at her set up. Roxy leaned her head on her friend's shoulder in order to see over it; she didn't understand what there was to feel accomplished about. It looked like a battlefield of crisscrossing wires and volume adjusting landmines; one wrong step and you may just deafen the entire crowd. Nepeta's keyboard stood shakily on top of the mess. It teetered slightly when Nepeta pressed a key or two, making sure it was connected properly. The notes sounded loudly through the huge base speakers on either side of the little stage/platform thing she was allowed to use for the night.

"I still don't understand how the Egberts can afford all of this stuff." She slid her hand over the top of the speaker to her left. She played another key, letting the vibrations shiver through her hand. "Like, seriously, how can they pay for this gorgeous house, four kids, two college tuitions, soon to be four, and all of this tech just by owning a little local shop?" Nepeta expressed her confusion to Roxy, who sat down on the pile of wires, ignoring the ones that poked painfully into her butt and thighs.

"Janey tells me she's the heir to a huge baking company. They aren't related by blood, but the lady who runs it likes Jane's skills and helps them out a lot. Like, a _lot,_ a lot." Roxy explained. She glanced around the massive room they were in, which was technically the basement. It had a second kitchen down there, mostly filled with junk food and snacks though for occasions just like this. But it also included a spacious area – perfect for dancing – and, best of all, a bar. With plenty of alcohol stored behind the counter. Roxy's eyes traced all along the shelves, bottles all lined up perfectly on them. She poked the inside of her lips with her tongue, chewing on the inside of her cheek until a little coppery-iron taste started to overwhelm her.

 _It's technically not the new year yet._ Roxy though to herself. _I can get away with a few loose morals, a_ _drink or two without breaking the rules. It couldn't hurt, right?_ She started to become more and more sure of herself, positive that it could work, if done early enough. She was just about to stand up before Nepeta's head swung in front of her from above, interrupting her gaze. Roxy yelped in surprise.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" she asked, smiling curiously. Roxy giggled at how silly she looked, her hair hanging all above her head and her earrings dangling just by her eyes.

"Ooh, nothing." She rolled her eyes to the opposite side of the room, trying to seem casual and like she didn't just puncture her cheek while thinking about getting drunk. She scrambled for a quick and believable lie. "Just . . . How delicious Jane's food's gonna be!" Roxy ducked under the curtain of hair Nepeta was making and leapt to her feet. "Come on, we gotta steal some before she sets it all out!"

They raced to the stairs and were tripping over each other in a competition to see who could reach the kitchen first.

 _I have to get back down stairs soon. . ._ A voice echoed in the back of Roxy's brain as she got a thick swat to the knuckles by Jane as she snatched up a large sugar cookie. _I have to get to it. I_ have _to._ The uninvited guest kept plaguing the delightful girl's thoughts, always somehow dragging her back under into addiction.

 **Karkat's POV:**

Jane smiled sweetly at Karkat as he came into the kitchen. "Hey Jane." He said, shuffling kind of awkwardly near the doorway. Normally he'd be his loud and obnoxious self, but seeing Dave there had kind of set him off kilter; besides, he was in _her_ house, at _her_ party and she had requested _him_ for _help_. He may have been a prick, but he wasn't that much of one.

"Hello Karkat. Could you hand me that plate?" she pointed to a large glass plate that sat on the counter near him, holing a cute little stack of cupcakes.

"Oh, sure." He carefully held it out to her, trying to keep all of the delicious pastries from falling.

She whisked it away, no problem, and put it next to a number of other assorted foods. Chips, crackers, cookies, cake, and little tiny macaroons that were so perfectly put together Karkat honestly wondered if she'd simply bought them from the store. But he knew better than to question Jane's skills, and kept quiet. "I'm going to need your help with bringing all of this down to the basement soon. Guests will be coming before you know it and John's friends tend to get cranky without food." She giggled and patted out the apron that covered her beautiful blue dress before returning to rushing around the kitchen to set things up and put cooking materials away, etc.

"But, uh, Jake said you needed me to help make. . ." He internally sighed at how stupid he'd probably sound, questioning it. "Coffee cake?"

She paused in her relentless flitting about and shot a cheeky Egbert grin at him. She calmly walked to the coffee machine that was shoved into the corner, among other appliances, and held up the almost entirely full pot of liquid heaven. In her other hand was a cute mug with Charlie Brown on the side.

"Code name." She poured a heaping amount for him and grabbed a creamer off of the counter, holding both out to him. "I thought you might want to have a little extra boost for the night. I know you don't like staying up, at least not on purpose, so I thought this might help." She beamed up at him as he took the gifts before turning back to her work.

Karkat blinked and smiled back briefly before dumping a massive amount of creamer into his mug. "Thanks Jane. I really, really needed this." He sighed contently and gulped down most of it.

"'Ey!" she lightly patted his stomach with the back of her hand. "Drink it, not inhale it!" she scolded, laughter evident in her voice.

"I am!" he joked back, setting the cup aside only to end up turning back around at the sound of footsteps coming towards them from one of the hallways.

The kitchen had two doors that both lead into hallways. One of them was right by the front door; that hallway lead to the coat closet, a bedroom, the stairs to the second floor and if you walked straight down it you'd end up right in the main living room.

The other entrance was almost on the opposite wall of the first. That hallway lead to the first floor bathroom, the stairs to the basement and also lead to the main living room.

Before either Jane or Karkat could react, two excitedly giggling girls came bursting through the second doorway and began plucking sweets off of the table only to shove them immediately into their mouths. " _Hey!_ " Jane growled, slapping one of the girls' hands harshly as she tried to pick up a sugar cookie. "Roxy, you know the rules! No eating until the other guests arrive!" Jane put the sugar cookie back on its rightful plate and plucked a macaroon straight out of Nepeta's hands. "That goes for you, too, Nep! I worked hard on all of this and I don't want you to go and eat it all!"

She crossed her arms angrily over her chest and huffed at the two. Nepeta's head lowered and she slowly stepped behind Karkat, as if he were a suitable shield. Roxy just giggled and snuck a sandwich behind her back. "Ooh- _kay_ Janey. No more snacking, promise." She held up her right hand, as if it would make Jane believe her.

"Mm-hmm, right. Just get your little butts moving to help get this all downstairs." She settled her steely glare on the only guy in the room. "Karkat, make sure they don't eat anything. Or you'll all get," she paused for effect, dragging a large wooden spoon from one of the open drawers behind her. " _The Spoon!"_ She held it in front of her threateningly. "And I'll get Terezi to help with the punishment." She cackled.

"What punishment?" Terezi's voice suddenly piped up from the first doorway. They all turned to see Terezi's head sticking out awkwardly from the wall, appearing as though she didn't have any body to match it.

"Ooh, the punishment for eating any of my food before anybody arrives." Jane answered, as if Terezi just randomly interjecting in their conversation were the most natural thing on Earth. "Would you mind assisting them in bringing it all downstairs?" Jane asked.

"Nah, I'd rather just help with the punishing." Terezi's full body appeared in the doorway and she waved her hand dismissively at Jane's invitation. "Also, the doorbell rang while you guys were bickering. Probably some more guests, so I recommend getting a move on with those treats." She cackled.

The food was all finally moved downstairs and just in time, too. Guests started pouring into the house just a few short minutes afterwards and before Karkat knew it, Nepeta was forced downstairs to entertain them. "You're going to be singing tonight, right?" she'd asked him, eyes light with uncertainty.

He crossed his arms and sighed dejectedly. "Yeah." He answered, too tired to fight.

"Yay!" she squealed, forcing her arms around his neck for a hug. "Thank you, Karkitty! I swear, you'll love it!" she told him before spinning around and dashing down the stairs to squeeze her way through the already gathering crowd and get to the stage.

Karkat sighed again and leaned against the wall next to the bathroom, shoving his fingers through his dark hair. In the back of his head, he wondered when the caffeine he ingested would kick in; another little voice questioned if it already had.

The bathroom door few open without warning, startling Karkat out of his daze. He jumped and stood up straight, staring at the person who stepped through the doorway.

"Oh."

 **Dave's POV:**

"Goddamn it." Dave growled as he stood in the bathroom, hands resting on opposite sides of the sink. He glared down the drain and grit his teeth. Jade knew. Jade knew about his little attraction to the Bakery Boy – Karkat, Kitkat, Kit-a-Kat, Karkitty, the list of nicknames he'd thought up went on and on because c'mon, Karkat was _so_ perfect for coming up with nicknames for – and now she was going to tell everyone. She was probably doing it as he sat there and thought and waited and anxiously cracked his knuckles (nervous habit, don't ask).

He couldn't let her do that. I mean, Rose probably already knew and he had a sneaking suspicion that John knew as well. He was pretty okay with his small group of close friends knowing about his interests in someone. But if Jade knew, it wouldn't stay in their little social circle for long. She'd tell Jane, or Jake or Roxy or Dirk or Nepeta or. . . God, she'd tell Terezi.

That thought terrified him more than he thought it should.

Sure, Terezi was a dangerous person to confide in at times, but she took most serious things with a level head. However, when it came to liking someone. . .

Plus, she was old friends with Karkat. She could just go waltzing up to him at any second and straight away tell him. Oh, god.

Dave suddenly felt the urge to find his friend and make her promise not to do anything rash. He flung open the bathroom door quickly and stepped out, prepared to run around the entire house just in order to find one of the insane girls he'd befriended. Jade or Terezi, it didn't matter to him. He just needed to get to them and –

"Oh."

A short guy with incredibly messy brown hair, deep mahogany eyes and the build of a model stood next to the bathroom and stared up at Dave. Dave's heart went from one thousand to zero in less than a second before spiking all the way up to ten thousand.

"Hi." Dave said, hoping that his face was remaining still and stoic. "Uh." He stepped out of the bathroom's doorway. "Do you need to go?" he gestured to the room where the light was still on.

Karkat shook his head.

"Ah. . ." Dave said before they both plunged into utter and complete silence.

(Well, not really, there were still people shouting downstairs and by now the music had started up, but apparently they had their own little muffler bubble because it seemed like there wasn't a single sound to be heard.)

 _This could not be more awkward._

 **Karkat's POV:**

 _This could get a lot more awkward. Shit._

 **Dave's POV:**

 _Have to excuse myself, quick. I've just been staring at him for like, a minute, fuck!_

"Uhm." Dave cleared his throat. "I've got to go. Uh, see you around." He lifted his hand in a lame attempt at a wave before quickly absconding the fuck out of there.

When he reached the bottom of the steps he sighed, dipping his head forwards and slouching in on himself. "Why am I such a fucking idiot?" he murmured quietly to himself.

Shouts and cheers and jeers and funky music were all around him. The basement was already quickly filling up with people and the area reserved for dancing was getting rather crowded by now, but that didn't stop them from dancing. Dave let loose a tiny smile; he was finally in his element.

He walked calmly over to the food tables and grabbed a mini finger sandwich, scarfing it down within seconds.

Dave looked around the room, suddenly remembering what he was so desperate to do before falling into that awkward as fuck situation with Vantas. His eyes scanned the area, desperate to find a bright blue ball of insane cackling or rocking hair. Terezi was always one to go straight into the madness of the dance floor, despite her lack of eyesight. It always worried Jane and Kanaya, but she always found a way to assure them that she was fine and could just slap people who bumped into her, or got a little carried away, with her walking cane.

Jade, however, was often times the one to hang by the edges; large crowds made her feel claustrophobic, she said. But that didn't stop her from dancing like mad.

Dave looked down at the carpeted ground dejectedly. Finding them in a massive sea of growing people who were all dancing _way_ too hard to the type of music that was being played was a feat not even he believed he could accomplish.

"Hey, bro." A deep and growly voice sounded beside him, accompanied by a hand on Dave's shoulder and the smell of weed. Dave jumped and looked up to see the grinning, painted face of Gamzee Makara. They never really got along, but Dave guessed he was a nice guy. He'd really mellowed out after being prescribed that legal marijuana, and especially after getting into a relationship with Nepeta. Dave had a sneaking suspicion that since she was usually one to be cool, calm, and collected, she managed to keep him subdued whenever he went off his rocker.

"Hey, Gamz, what's up?" Dave asked, trying to be casual.

"Uh, I think your sister's over at the bar. . . An' it ain't lookn' so good. . ." Gamzee got out, seeming almost guilty about having to tell Dave what was going on.

"Which one?" Dave asked, standing up straight. It didn't quite matter which one; both of his step sisters had problems with alcohol. But with Rose, she could be reasoned with. Roxy. . .

"It's Rox-sis." Gamzee mumbled out, scratching the back of his head.

Dave froze. "Damnit!" he shouted. Gamzee flinched. "I thought she'd put all of this behind her!"

He shook his head and patted Gamzee on the shoulder. "Thanks for telling me." He started to walk towards the bar, before stopping and turning around. "And it wasn't your fault."

Gamzee and Roxy had always been sort of close; those kind of friendships where they didn't necessarily see each other a whole lot, but still got along great. Gamzee had been the one who'd watched as Roxy purposefully intoxicated herself over and over again just to numb the pain. He'd been there with her through her rehab this past year and had been a really great friend to her. It seemed only natural that he'd feel guilty about not getting there in time to stop her from sinking back into addiction.

Dave immediately noticed the large crowd of people who stood in front of the counter. Most were leaning over the marble barrier to stare down and shout at someone who sat behind it.

Dave already knew who he was going to see when he stepped behind the bar, but it still didn't prepare him.

"Daveyyyy. . ." Roxy slurred. Dave sighed angrily.

"Daveyy-" Roxy interrupted herself with a hiccup. "Yyy. . . I'm srry, Dve."

The crowd of people erupted with laughter. Dave shot them all a warning glare that they didn't catch through his shades. "Alright, show's over folks." He said, kneeling down to pick the overly-intoxicated Roxy and hold her close. "Now beat it before I beat you."

"Dave. . ." Roxy murmured, obviously on the edge of blacking out. _How did she drink so much so quickly? I just saw her an hour ago._ Dave wondered to himself. "I'm, I'm so soorrryyyyy. . ." She started crying a little bit, so the sorry came out as a quiet wail.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh. . ." he whispered to her, kissing her forehead. "It's all okay. You're going to be okay."


	7. A Bucket of Cute Drunk Roxy

**Dave's POV:**

It took Dave little to no time to hoist Roxy up the stairs and into the main living room.

He laid her out on the couch, making sure her head rested squarely on a cushion, tilting her jaw just slightly to the side so that if she barfed in her sleep (like she was sometimes known to do – despite being an alcoholic, she could not hold her drink) she wouldn't choke on in.

He brushed a bit of her hair out of her face before quickly rushing over to where Jane stood near the front door, awaiting new guests.

"Jane." Dave said, breaking his normally calm tone. Immediately Jane noticed the difference, launching herself straight to her feet from her previous position of leaning against the wall.

"Is it – Did Roxy . . .?" Jane trailed off.

Dave nodded gravely.

Jane was out of the hallway and into the kitchen before Dave could hardly even blink. When he peeked through the doorway, he found Jane leaning over a slip of paper, scribbling something on it in Sharpie.

"What's that for?" he asked her when she put a piece of tape on the top and rushed to stand on the front step, sticking it to the door.

"So that I don't have to keep letting guests in. It's not as polite as I would have liked, but it'll have to do." She said hurriedly, her words tripping over each other as she rushed back inside the house.

Before she closed the door, Dave got a good look at what the note said; _"Let yourself in! Through the kitchen, into the hallway, first door on the left; in the basement"_

Dave snickered despite himself; only Jane would leave direct instructions on where to go to get to the basement. He was pretty sure the thumping base was enough to alert any guests as to where the party was going on.

Mercifully, nobody had decided to hang out in the living room yet, so neither of them had to shoo anybody out of their way. Either that or the sight of Dave carrying a rather intoxicated, possibly drugged, girl into the area scared them all away.

Jane knelt beside Roxy and sighed, taking her best friend's hand in hers and squeezing it slightly. Dave sat down next to her, cross-legged and stroked Roxy's hair. He waited for Jane to say something, cry, slap Roxy to wake her up and scream at her or react in _some_ _way_ , but they were left shrouded in silence.

Well, as much silence as there could be when there were about two hundred guests (how did the Egberts even know so many people?) all partying and dancing and swaying together downstairs to a rather interesting song.

An undisclosed amount of time passed in which neither of them spoke at all. Dave felt the atmosphere surrounding them get awkward, but was unsure as to how to fix this problem.

Fortunately, he didn't have to.

"Isn't she so beautiful when she sleeps?" Jane whispered, rubbing her thumb over Roxy's knuckle.

Dave kept silent, feeling like this was the sort of question that didn't require an answer.

"I've always thought so. Especially when we were kids." Jane's voice started to get far away, like she was floating away. She paused for a moment. "Do you remember when she had all of that long, long hair?" Jane glanced up at Dave, a sad smile playing on her lips. Dave nodded silently, still trying to figure out if it was appropriate to speak or if Jane was still being rhetorical.

She turned her head back to face Roxy's. "We would video chat for hours and hours on end. . . Most of the time going late into the night. She'd fall asleep on me and just lay there while I stayed awake." Jane's eyes started to tear up a tiny bit, her voice wavering in that awful, painful way when you're trying to speak around the lump in your throat, trying not to cry. "I would always think to myself that she looked a bit like-like Sleeping Beauty, right?"

Jane started to fully cry now, hiccupping a little bit and squeezing the life out of Roxy's hand. Her body lurched up and down with every shaky breath. Her lips were moving fast and it took Dave an almost embarrassingly long time to realize she was whispering things.

"Why'd she do it?"

"We were so close to a new year, a new start. We were so close to restarting everything."

"Godammit, Roxy, why?"

"Janey. . ." A groggily tired voice suddenly spoke. They both looked at the still intoxicated Lalonde to see her two pretty blue eyes peeping open.

Both she and Rose had blue eyes, but while Rose's were deep and darkly resembled a more indigo color, Roxy's were so bright they were nearly transparent. As a teenager, she'd often wear contacts that turned them an unnatural shade of pink, but she soon dropped the habit after entering college. Dave preferred her to share her natural eye color with the world; they were even more beautiful that way.

"Roxy. . .?" Jane responded, the tears ceasing almost immediately.

"Janey, you can't be falling for me." Roxy's words came out slow and smoothly, her voice seeming to drop a few octaves.

"What?" Jane rose an eyebrow. Dave was right along with her on that boat.

"You're. . . Doncha remember? Ya' gotta get with Dirk-ister so. . . so we can all be one _huge_ 'effen family and you . . ." Roxy kept pausing and then talking slow. "You can have tons of r'lly cuuuute bbieeeeees."

Jane's face reddened to a point where Dave wondered if his vision had suddenly gone awry.

"Whoa, whoa, wait." Dave held up his hands, interrupting Roxy mid-rant about how she'd make the best aunt in the entire world and take them out shopping in Paris once her career as a model took off and such bullshit. "Do you actually like Dirk?"

Dave raised his eyebrows far above his shades when Jane tried (and failed) to stutter an excuse as to why Roxy was talking about she and Dirk getting married.

"Godammit, why's it always him?" Dave asked himself, once again disregarding a female's nervous ranting. Twice in the matter of forty seconds. Must've broken some new record. "I mean, first Jake, then Roxy, then I think John might've had a thing for him, for a while at least, and now _Jane_?! Man. I have _got_ to step my game up."

"Oo got dat right, Daveh-boy." Roxy giggled beside him. He lightly tapped her forehead.

"Shut it. I'm already mad at you for. . . this." He gestured his hand to the rest of her, indicating the situation they were in. She squished her cheek into the pillow under her head and widened her eyes, her bottom lip quivering out just a tiny little bit. Dave sighed angrily.

"Don't even try that fake puppy dog face and crocodile tears. You ain't poutin' your way out of this one, missy." Dave said, his Southern accent slipping into his voice more and more. It always happened like that in certain situations, like when he was feeling really tired or casual, or in this case, getting madder.

Roxy snapped out of the pitiful face almost immediately, completely dropping the act to glare up at her step brother.

Well, "glare" is an exaggeration; she more squinted really hard at him with the look of a toddler who'd lost an argument on her face.

Jane glanced from Dave to Roxy a couple of times before finally piping up.

"Dave, I uh. . . I think I'll handle this." She said a little calmer than what her voice had been just a few minutes ago.

Dave looked up at her, marginally surprised. "Huh?"

"Yeah, I'll take care of Roxy for right now. You can go and enjoy the party, don't worry." Jane suddenly decided out of nowhere, sounding rather resolute.

Dave glanced from Jane to Roxy to Jane again. "Is there gonna be some sort of secret female bonding conversation when I leave?" he asked them.

"Of sorts." Jane tilted her head to the side.

More silence.

Dave swore if it weren't the middle of the winter, they'd all hear some crickets chirping outside.

"Whelp, shit man." Dave's hands went up into the air again. "I can't go around interruptin' some fine lady bonding. It ain't polite." He hoisted himself up and stuck his hands in his pockets, already striding towards the door. "You two have fun." He said before walking down the hallway and disappearing into the basement again.

He hated how hastily he'd left, but Jane telling him to go "enjoy the party" had reminded him once more of his original mission; finding Jade and stopping her before she could tell the entire household that he had a developing crush on literally the only angry short Bakery Boy in the entire city.

 **Jane's POV:**

Jane was surprised at how easily Dave had retreated, to say the least, but at the moment, that was the least of her problems.

Roxy had started giggling beside her, trying – and failing miserably – to hold back her little chuckles behind her cupped hands. "Shut up!" Jane nearly screeched, slapping Roxy's arm with the back of her hand. "I can't believe you just did that!" She glared accusingly at the still giggly blonde.

"What? Who cares? I for one think yo're little crish on Dirky's the cutest thing since kittens." Roxy said. She seemed to be sobering up well, but still slurred a few of her words and it wasn't as if the alcohol had completely left her body; which meant the hangover of the century would still be hitting her hard the next morning.

"But he could tell him! And not to mention, _Dirk_ is dating _Jake!_ Did that completely slip your mind?!"

"Ooh, yeaaah. . ." Roxy said like she'd just realized it. Jane face palmed.

"Don't worry about it. This is Dave we're talking about; I'm sure he won't tell anyone!" Roxy tried to reassure her friend. Jane face palmed again with the other hand, fully covering her beet red face. "I thiiink. . .? I mean, it's Dave. His cool-kid façade can be pretty hard to predict sometimes. . ."

"Not helping." Jane said, her voice muffled by her hands. She lowered her head and pulled her knees up to her chest as best she could with the little space she was given to sit in between the coffee table and couch.

"I know what _will_ help though." Roxy grinned deviously.

Jane peeked up at the Cheshire-Cat grin she could pull off so well. "Whaat." She groaned, not in the mood for Roxy's insane drunk shenanigans.

"Wow, don't sound so excited." The blonde mumbled sarcastically.

"Roxy, just tell me what it is before I leave you hear so that I may wallow in my own shameful self-pity."

"Hee hee." Roxy giggled again. "Well, I'll just tell ya quickly then; our lil' Davey's got a crush!"


	8. Chapter Title At The Beginning

**Big Crowds Suck and Jade and Dave Are Jerks to Each Other**

 **Dave's POV:**

A steady base thumped throughout the basement, shivering the walls and floors. It was playing so loudly that Dave could feel it echoing in his rib cage. It was a remix, no doubt, of some stupid song on the radio that Dave never paid attention to. But there was something else in it. The sort of thing he recognized in his own remixes; a dash of him. Well, for this song, it wasn't a dash of him, but it was a dash of _someone_. Someone who'd made the remix in the first place.

The party goers cheered and swayed and bounced and clapped on cue to the beat. The party was already in full swing and Dave had no idea if he'd be able to completely throw himself into the reckless fun with the knowledge that his beloved sister was upstairs, giddily drunk and to the mercy of Jane.

He was starting regret leaving them alone.

With a deep sigh, Dave decided to force all worrying thoughts from his head and launch himself into the ecstatic crowd with a mission to find his perky little friend, Jade.

Body parts overlapped, some clichéd red plastic cups had already been dug out of some back room and were now in the hands of a startling amount of guests, and there were sharp horns in every direction; Dave had to dodge a quickly turning head every now and then by either ducking or lurching to the side. Needless to say, it was all rather overwhelming and despite the fact that Dave was actually a big fan of peace and quiet and wasn't particularly comfortable with large crowds like this, he found himself getting into the flow of things. The music was actually pretty good, even if the original was completely awful and he couldn't help but let himself get side-tracked in a few over the top conversations about stupid things.

And worse yet, they were with complete strangers most of the time.

"Hey, do you have a dog? Sweet, what breed? What's its name? That's awesome dude, take care of them and tell 'em that a stranger from a New Year's Eve party said hi to 'em."

"Yo, do you know the name of this song? Oh, that makes sense. I mean, the main singer's just been singing it on and on and on for a while, so yeah, I guess that's a fitting title."

"Are you in school still? No? Lucky bastard."

"What's your favorite animal? Really? A cat? Huh. See, mine's a hippopotamus, but to each to their own, or however that saying goes."

"Have you heard of this new game called "Frogglitine?" Okay, dude, I know how you can get it for free, you've gotta play it, shit's magical."

"Do you know our Lord and Savior, Satan Jackson? Yes, that's his last name; Jackson. What, a totally evil ruler of the underworld can't have a totally generic last name?"

"Man, I would _cull_ for some tasty human blood right now."

That last one was meant as a prank to see how many strange looks that would attract, each person undoubtedly thinking to themselves "is he honestly a vampire or just pretending?"

As predicted, a good twenty heads turned towards the pale blonde; whether or not it was because he'd said it incredibly loudly or because he'd said it right when Nepeta was changing songs, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that it was hilarious.

Eventually though, he ran out of steam and wasn't able to keep up with the slurred answers from some of the already drunker party guests.

Dave sighed, a little discouraged that he still hadn't spotted the buck toothed grin of a deranged Egbert. Surprisingly, though, he found himself right up near the front of the stage thingy that had been set up for Nepeta to perform on. He looked up to see the little black girl playing her heart out on that keyboard. Her bangs had been pulled back into a semi-ponytail, leaving the bright green highlights pulled taunt against her scalp.

Dave vaguely remembered seeing Nepeta a few times while hanging out with Roxy, but she was always accompanied by a tall, sweaty guy. His name was something like Herculus or Eloquence; something with an "e" at the beginning and an "-quius" at the end. The point was, Nepeta was sweating harder than him right now and it made sense. Whenever she wasn't jamming out like crazy to the music she was playing, she was jumping around the stage like a madwoman when her pre-recorded stuff was blasting through the speakers.

The neon green bomber jacket she'd arrived in was tossed to the side, currently being used as a seat cushion for some random girl who'd decided to sit on top of the speaker.

Dave squinted through the crowd, swearing he'd seen the girl's face before, somewhere.

He nearly slapped himself across the face when he noticed the bright pink dreadlocks bouncing side to side in time with the beat of the music.

Dave sprinted over to Feferi Pieces as fast as he could while still dodging horns and the occasional over-zealous drunkard. He panted heavily once at the speaker, leaning his elbow on it and sighing heavily. "Hi Dave!" Feferi shouted over the music, still swaying side to side.

He lifted a hand in greeting. She grinned down at him. Feferi was unusually tall for a girl like her. Tall and _wide,_ might I add. But certainly not in a bad way. She towered a good three inches above Dave's head (including the horns – trolls always seemed to count them as their entire height, which was odd, but still acceptable), but when she slumped over, as she normally did, she could often be mistaken to be shorter than him. Her hips and thighs seemed to stretch from Timbuktu to Los Angeles, but that didn't stop her from walking around normally. She just behaved like she took up just as much room as anybody else and others seemed to just ignore it.

"Hellooo, Dave." A tauntingly flirtatious voice croaked out, like, right next to his ear. I'm not joking, it was _right in his ear_ , making Dave startle in one of the worst ways possible. He jumped about six feet in the air and screeched, "Jesus fucking Christ!" drawing the attention of several bystanders. He placed a hand over his chest and leaned heavily on the speaker, glaring to the best of his ability at both Jade and Feferi.

"Oh, my god, that was fantastic!" Jade howled with laughter. Feferi held both of her hands over her mouth to keep from fully bursting out like Jade.

"Yeah, yeah, scaring the shit out of Dave, ha ha ha, so funny." Dave growled sarcastically. "Oh, and by the way Jade, fuck you." He flipped her off, no poison behind his words. Jade let out a few more hearty giggles before wiping her eyes of her tears and sauntering over to him, wrapping a strong arm around his shoulders.

"I don't think you should be saying that to _me_." She gave him a smug look, like a "ha, ha, I know what's going on here and you don't and I won't be explaining it easily any time soon."

Dave sighed and crossed his arms, still trying to calm his heart beat from that scare. Truth be told, it had surprised him more than it probably should have. It just eerily reminded him of when he and Dirk were younger. Bro was the only one to take care of them, and by now he was doing a great job, but it hadn't always been that way. . .

Dave forced the thoughts out of his head once more, unwilling to relive those traumatic years all over again while in the midst of a New Year's Party.

"And who should I be saying it too then? Who on Earth could possibly be more suited for a big ol' "Fuck You" than none other than Jade Harley, the queen of jump scares, herself?" Feferi had started giggling again by this point. Dave pulled himself from Jade's tight grip and gestured with both hands dramatically to the laughing girl on the speakers. "Perhaps Feferi, her majesty of all fish related puns? Oh, no, she couldn't possibly accept a "fuck you" from me. Maybe you'd like to do the honors, Jade?" Dave let his hands fall and crossed them behind his back, leaning forward to properly smirk in Jade's face.

She had been reduced to a little blushing ball of "oh shit, he just went there." Feferi, of course, hadn't noticed the almost blatantly obvious innuendo and was just barking with laughter, her entire body lurching up with every "ha" she made. Both hands were over her mouth and she was pulling her feet up to cross them on top of the speaker with her. Jade nervously joined in, shooting daggers stealthily in Dave's direction. He held up his hands in surrender, the gesture completely losing all meaning due to the incredibly smug smile he had plastered on.

"Nah, I was just suggesting you shoot a "fuck you" towards Karkat." Jade said, her smug behavior returning once more. Dave silently cursed himself for being so good at teaching her the 101 rules of how to be a douchebag. "Although, you may want to revise it. How about a "fuck me?"" She grinned at him, placing her hands on her hips and waggling her eyebrows. Okay, yep, it's final, he taught her _way_ too much on how to be a complete dick to your friends. (She didn't even have a dick, what the fuck, she was out-dicking him and she didn't even have a fucking dick, this is wrong, this is so wrong.)

Feferi suddenly gasped and clamped another hand over her mouth.

"You have a crush on Krabcatch?!" she practically squealed.

Jade answered for him with a single affirmative nod.

" _No_ , I do _not_ have a crush on him, I barely even know the dude, I met him, like, twice." Dave countered, suddenly feeling cornered in the conversation. _Holy shit, what did she just call him? Krabcatch? Fuck yeah, I'm_ totally _using that one._ Dave thought to himself.

Feferi pouts, obviously disappointed at least a little bit.

"Aw, but you would make such a cute couple. . ." she trials off before covering her mouth again and giggling slightly. _This girl can be way too bubbly sometimes, goddamn, how much has she drunken?_ Dave asked himself. "Oh, cod, I'm sounding more like Nepeta, aren't I? Hee hee!"

"Yeeeahh, well, while you go about fantasizing about make believe gay couples, why don't you make one right now?" Dave asked, looking between Jade and Feferi, eyebrows wiggling heartily above his shades.

Jade started blushing again and smacked his arm, hard. "Shut the fuck up, Dave." She hissed at him.

Feferi didn't seem to take notice of Jade's embarrassment though; in fact, she seemed to have gotten distracted by something out in the crowd (though it was probably a somebody because wow it suddenly just got really claustrophobic in here and it's way too tight for anything other than a person to be squeezed into this tight ass area.)

Dave followed her line of sight, ignoring Jade's little rant about being more subtle in his ear.

"Look, there's your little Krabcatch now!" Feferi squeaked, waving spontaneously to get the attention of (Dave could only take her word here; the ball of messy bed head was enough proof anyways) Karkat Vantas.

 _Oh, shit._

 **Karkat's POV:**

Having a lot of people at an Egbert party; that was normal.

Inviting Karkat Vantas to the Egbert party; that was normal.

Karkat Vantas actually attending the Egbert party; that was some jacked up "what the hell is wrong did you hit your head?" type shit.

Karkat was uncomfortably shuffling through the crowd, well aware that both his height and strength were doing nothing to assist him in getting through it safer.

Karkat was just about ready to say "fuck it!" and walk the 24+ miles it took to get from his apartment building to the Egbert house. Why not celebrate the New Year with a bunch of dirty hobos and the snowy sludge all over the ground?

The short troll sighed and shoved his way through the crowd, anxious to find just a pocket of empty space to breath in. The odors of natural troll must and sweaty humans was starting to piss him off. (Well, everything pissed him off, but this especially.)

"Krabcatch! Krabcatch!" A squeaky voice called out to him from up ahead. Karkat sighed in relief, recognizing the familiar nick name given to him by none other than Feferi Pieces herself. Sure, it was sort of annoying to have so many people have nicknames for you, but at the moment he didn't care.

After clumsily shoving his way out into the more open area Feferi was seated in, he was surprised to see two other people standing nearby.

One was obviously Jade. She stared at him with such enthusiasm he would've thought he was a new element for which she was going to become extremely famous for finding. The other one . . .

 _Oh, shit._

Dave's mouth remained in a straight line and much to Karkat's utter disdain, he was still dawning his sunglasses, _indoors_ , _at a party_ , _in the basement_ , _in extreme lowlight._ Karkat began to wonder if it was some sort of condition he had. "Douchebag-itis." Yeah, I guess that could be a real thing.

Dave appeared to just be staring blankly at nothing at all while Karkat, Feferi and Jade all conversed slightly. The brunette couldn't figure out for the life of him where the other male's gaze was and it was sort of unnerving, to say the least.

"Yo, Karkat, you paying attention?" Jade asked, poking his cheek. He swatted her hand away, pulling himself out of his thoughts.

"Of course I was." He lied.

"Then what did she just say?" Feferi asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd caught him.

"Uhh. . . Something about playing a . . . game?" Karkat answered in more of a question.

"Ah, so even when you're daydreaming about nothing you've got one ear open. Good to know." Jade responded. "But yeah, I was thinking of grabbing a few people, aka, the only people who I can stand to be around when they're shit-faced drunk, and heading upstairs to get away from the crowd." She crossed her arms. "Whaddya say?" She suddenly broke the tiny façade with a huge grin.

Karkat blinked owlishly at them and then shrugged. "Why not?"

 _This could be fun, I guess._

 **Dave's POV:**

 _Hell yes!_


End file.
